Welcome to Gay.MN!
By Admin
Published: January 19, 2006
Print    Email

What is coming out?
Very simply coming out occurs when an individual declares to the world that he or she is gay/queer.
We even have our own jargon for this. The phrase "coming out" is the shortened form of "coming out of the closet". The phrase "living in the closet" is a slang expression in English which refers to a gay individual who tries to pretend s/he is straight. And "passing" (as in passing for straight) is something a "closet case" (someone still in the closet) thinks s/he is very good at.
Happily for the person coming out, there are no forms to fill out at a government office (although the potential for a very funny queer comedy sketch is contained in such an idea). Nor is there (yet) any prescribed tradition about coming out. You just do it. It's your life and here is your chance to define it as you see fit any way you see fit.
But let's be clear. It's something you can only do once. So if you're going to do it, do it right. And what do I mean when I say do it right? Simple. Five years from now, will you be able to look back and say, "Yup, got that one right. No regrets."?

How do I know if I'm gay?
There's an old saying which applies here:
"If you are in love, no one has to tell you. You know."
Got a crush on somebody who is the same gender as you? Pay attention, you're being told something. What turns you on? Let's be blunt. Which gender gets you all hot and horney? Still not sure? Try (safe) sex with both genders. Now, thinking back on the experiences, which gender still turns your crank?
The question is valid. Be sure before you make your announcement

But I like the opposite sex, too.
I may yet live long enough to see the day when a question like this is irrelevant, but that day has not happened yet. The largest percentage of people have a preference for sex with one gender rather than the other gender. And a surprising number have tried it both ways. You might be amazed at how many individuals have "taken a walk on the wild side" and switch hit just add a little spice to their life. Regardless, the preponderant preference an individual has for sex with the same sex is what constitutes gay/queer sexual orientation, regardless of a minority interest elsewhere.
Very, very few individuals are acutally bisexual in the sense of an equal sexual attraction to both genders. Such people have rough go of it though as they have difficulty finding acceptance in either the straight or gay communities. One day I hope both gay and straight society grow up enough to stop shunning such people.